By Sunshine Laughter
We're all here at the low table again, the Pony Breakfast Club is in full swing, as you can see. We have myself, Sunshine Laughter, by me is the lovely and talented Millicent, on my other side is Goldenrod and Aquamarine, and on the other side of the table is Jan the Unicorn, Honeydrizzle and the guest of honor.... Samantha, who was converted yesterday morning, and who is now no longer a carnivorous, terrifying skin ape, but who is now a perfectly delightful pegasus pony! Let's hear it for Samantha the pegasus!
YAAAYYY!!! And, I might add, I am sooooo jealous! Sam is exactly the shade of green I want to be, and with that yellow mane and those blue eyes, she looks like the sun coming up over the most beautiful meadow, and frankly, I hate you to death now, Sam. Grrrrrr.....
"I'll have you know that being bright green is a privilege and an honor not accorded swearing cartoon-hating Earth Monkeys. Blaaaaa!"
Oh, struck to the CORE! AHHH! And... I'm dead. All dead now. No more Sunshine...
"NO! Don't be dead, Sunshine! I don't want you to be dead!"
Millie... Jeeze... I'm just playing. See? All alive again! Woo! I'm zombie Jesus, back from the grave to eat your soul and save your brains!
"Um... isn't that supposed to go the other way round?"
OK, good point Jan. But I like mine better, anyway. Hey, a quick look at our feast here, this is First Breakfast As A Pony for Samantha, because she missed out, what with being converted and everything - I am sooo jealous, did I mention I was jealous, because I am - so what have we got here, co-host Millie?
"Um... we have sweet golden frosted hay, it's baked, I think, and oatmeal with raisins and cinnamon. And we each have a breakfast apple, those are really good, and juice, both orange and apple. Jan has some kind of cereal thing... I think it is whole oats and wheat and... groats or something?"
"Yes. It's a mixture of grains, with yogurt on top. It's actually pretty good."
"And also french toast, which is what Sunshine and I are having. It's really good french toast too... it's really thick and it's like pudding in the middle!"
Oh, it sooo is. I have to say this is just a marvelous spread. Oh! Here's something interesting, which should probably be pretty obvious, but Equestrians are not vegans. They are ovo-lacto-vegetarians. Did I say that right?
"Yes. Ovo-lacto-vegetarian. We can drink milk, that's simple enough, but we can also eat eggs, too."
So the most meat ponies can eat is eggs, which makes sense, because Sam here, who studied up before she came to the Bureau says that...
"Before the near extinction of horses and ponies on earth, horse breeders would often feed eggs to their equines to increase the protein in their diet. Eggs are just big single cells, with a nucleus surrounded by protoplasm, and thus are very easily digested, even by compulsory vegetarians, like ponies."
Wow. Sam here is not only a pegasus, but a braniac, and no wonder she shut me up the first day, because I was being a dumbass, and she was there to learn. Wait, eggs are really single cells?
"Yes. They are protected by a calcium carbonate shell, but they are essentially gigantic single cells. Until they are fertilized, of course, and the cell begins division to become a multicellular organism."
It's like Professor Pegasus of the Pegasus Institute of Superior Understanding here, and I am in awe. OK, Samantha, two questions, alright?
First, have you picked out a pony name yet?
"Not yet. I am working on it, I have a couple of possibilities, but I am not entirely happy with them yet."
Care to share what you've got so far?
"Well, since I am green, I was thinking of a name related to that. Emerald Dawn was one possibility, because of my yellow mane, as you pointed out. Another was Arboria, because I like trees, and again, because I am green. I was also considering Shamrock, or Shamrock Morning, because my human ancestry was part Irish, but there's something about that I don't like."
"I like Arboria! That sounds really pretty!"
"Um... I kind of liked the first one... the jem one."
"Emerald? Emerald Dawn? Or just Emerald?"
"Well, I like Shamrock Morning. It's cute!"
"No, No, No... I agree with Samantha... Shamrock Morning just sounds... twee sort of."
"You know, kind of overly cute, a little, I don't know..."
"Wait! What about Emerald Arbor? That's kind of classy!"
Well, it's not bad, Millie. It is kind of classy. Of course, maybe picking a name just because you are green isn't the only possibility. I mean most pegasai seem to pick names that deal with feathers and flight and clouds and stuff...
"That is precisely why I will not. All the pegasai seem to name themselves that way, and I want to have a name that will stand out for a pegasus. It is just too obvious to pick a name based on the fact you can fly, don't you think?"
Maybe it's some Equestrian tradition, though. Maybe it would seem strange to other ponies not to have a flight / feather / cloud type name. I'd ask, I think.
"Well, actually I hadn't considered that possibility. I concede the point, it is possible that... well, I guess I need to think more about it in any case."
"Pony names are really hard! That's why I'm still just Millie, right? Because I just can't think of a good pony name."
"Oh, I SO know what you mean."
Hey wait! What the hay is going on now? Over there -
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU! GET AWAY FROM ME! AHH! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! CAN'T YOU SEE? CAN'T YOU SEE?"
"Why is he screaming?"
"I don't understand."
"Sunshine, what is going on?"
How should I know? I don't even know that guy. He's just running around and yelling, you know as much as I do.
"DON'T YOU SEE? IT'S TRUE IT'S ALL TRUE! THEY ARE REPLACING US! THEY'RE MONSTERS! FREAKS! GET OUT OF MY WAY, DON'T TOUCH ME!"
Hey, hey, now that's just uncalled for. You don't kick ponies. HEY! SETTLE DOWN!
"Sunshine, be careful!"
"THESE GOD-DAMMNED FREAKS ARE EVERYWHERE! GET THEM OFF! GET THEM OFF!"
They aren't even anywhere near you now, you're scaring everypony, man. Just settle down and...
"EVERYPONY? EVERYPONY? THEY'VE ALREADY GOT YOU THINKING LIKE THEM! DON'T YOU SEE? DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? THE HLF WAS RIGHT! IT'S AN INVASION! AN INVASION! FUCKING GET OFF ME YOU RACE TRAITOR BITCH - !"
KTHUNK - CLUNK OWWW thud
Mah toof! Ow... gof DAFFIT! Mah toof! YOU BWOKE MY GOFDAMFIT TOOF YOU THUCKER!
"FREAKS! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! RUN! GET OUT NOW, WHILE YOU CAN! RUUUUNNNNnnnn!!!"
"Oh, sweet Celestia, she's bleeding."
"I'll get the medical unicorn. Keep her stable!"
Oww.... thamn.... my toof... oww... anf my jaw too. Gofdaffit thif HURF! Ah. Ah... ah, manf... whaf the muffin... i'm bfeeding! Jeef, so futch bfud!
"Sunshine, oh, Sunshine, oh sweet Luna... I'm here, shhhh, I'm here... the crazy man is gone, he's gone, he ran out the front, it's OK, Jan went to get the medical unicorn. Just try to lay still. Here... you can rest up against me, OK? Soft and warm, remember? No, don't worry about the blood, that can wash off... just rest for now, just rest..."
Ah do theel a liffle whoofy, I haf to avmit. He hif me pretty harf. Ah canf feel my lipf. Ow! Gof me righf in fa face. Faffit. Gof faffit crazy-aff mufferfuffer...
"Shhh, shhh... Morning Glory will be here in just a moment... here, she's galloping right to us... Can you help her?"
"Stand back, I need room to spell. Lie still. Ok. First, let's stop the bleeding."
Hoaa..... whow... oh, thaf feels greaf! Oh, whow... oh, thanf for thaf! Oh yef.... mwa, ptuw... oh, manf.... thaf my toof. I losf a muffin toof. Two toofs. He muft haf really hif me harg. Thaf better though. Muff better.
"Sunshine, her name is Sunshine!"
"Alright miss Sunshine, I've stopped the bleeding, I'm going to do a scan now, it that alright?"
Go for if! Whafeffer you neef.
"Hmmm.... you've lost three teeth... there's another in there you may want to, right... and.... some damage to the bone, but not severe... I'm not sensing any internal... oh, you've suffered some nerve damage in your olfactory from the impact. Your sense of smell will probably be compromised... but that will all be taken care of as soon as you are converted. No obvious concussion, no swelling... mmm... wait a minute. There is some... oh, that's not...
Listen, I need you to lie there. Miss? Can you keep her there and keep her calm? Just keep her calm and relaxed as possible. Try to keep her conscious. Talk to her, keep her talking. I'll be back in just a moment. She's all signed up for conversion, right?"
"Oh, yes! Completely!"
Conferf me! Pleef! Juff conferf me!
"I'll be right back, miss. Just wait here, and try not to move, alright? You are going to be fine, though I think it best we get you converted right away, if you don't mind."
Donf minf? DONF MINF? CONFERF ME! I WANNA BE CONFERFEF! Oh, yef. Geffing funched waf the anfer all along! Ha ha ha ha *cough* *cough* cough* OWWWwwww.... thaf hurf. Oh, I feel kinf of whoofy. Whoo. Really whoofy.
"Just rest, Sunshine. Just lay back on me. See? I'm right here. I'll be your pillow. You can rest your head on me. That's it. Just rest for now. Hey! I guess you get to be converted today! Day four, that's pretty good, right?"
Heh heh heh... Owww.... mah head hurf.
"You're going to be alright. Conversion repairs everything, remember? You'll have new teeth, and a new jaw, and everything! I wonder what made that human go crazy? That was so strange!"
Sfychotic bfrake. Tenforary Sfychosis. Couldn't hanfle the srangeness of if all. I reaf afout if. Thay go nufs becaufe they canf hanfle feing arounf alien feings.
"But we're just ponies. And we used to be human. Most of us, anyway!"
He freaked ouf. Humans are a fit xenophofic. Somefines if comf ouf.
"I kind of remember something about humans from old England or Spain or whatever freaking out about meeting other humans from somewhere in the Eastasiazone, because of how they looked and dressed. And that's just tiny differences. I guess seeing real live Equestrians would be... it would be even more strange."
Exacfly! Humanf canf even hanfle their own racial differenfes half the fime! If amafing that they arenf jusf killing ponief rigf and leff! Ow.... Ow....
"Excuse me, we need to take the patient... miss... um... Sunshine Laughter... into conversion now."
"Oh, Of course! I was just letting her lay on me to keep her still and calm. Morning Glory asked me to try to keep her calm."
"You did perfectly well. Thank you. But we'll take it from here. OK. Unicorns! On three. One, Two, Three!"
I'mf flofing! I'm flofing in the air! Hey! Loof, Fillie! I'm flofing!
"Yes, you're floating really good, Sunshine. They're putting you on a gurney. Hey, can I come? I'll be quiet."
YEFF! LEFF HER COMF! I WANF HER FERE!
"Please calm down miss Sunshine. I don't see that it would cause any trouble. Your friend may accompany you. Alright miss - what is your name, miss?"
"Millicent. Millicent Nguyen. I haven't chosen a pony name yet."
"Alright, we're taking your friend directly into conversion, because Dr. Glory detected some problems that need to be addressed. You need to understand that the process of conversion may be difficult to observe, if you need to turn away just do so. During conversion you friend will be unconscious, and will not know you are even there. If you need to leave..."
DONF LEAF ME! PLEAF DONF LEAF ME!
"I won't, Sunshine. I'm not going anywhere, Alright? I'm right here, and I'm staying with you, no matter what, alright?"
Thanf you, Millie. Thanf you so muff.
"It's alright, Sunshine. We're together now, right?"
Oh, yeff. Afolufly! Togeffer!
"Hee! See, we're almost there. There's the big door! Now we're inside the Conversion Room! You made it! You're inside the Conversion Room!"
"Alright! On One. Three, Two, One!"
Whoooo! I like flofing!"
"Floating looks really fun, Sunshine!"
"Excuse me, miss, but I need you to stand over there, so we can get her undressed. Alright?"
"Of course. I'm just going right over here, Sunshine. Just in the corner, see? I'm just keeping out of the way."
"What is this thing?"
"It's her holocorder. She's doing a thing for the worldgovernment. Here, give it to me. I'll take it. Fanks. Hmm.... lef fee if I can... fere. No... alrigf.... there. That should work. Hey, Sunshine, Now I'm the reporter!"
You'rf amazing, fillie! Hey! Refortf fy conferfion, Ofay?
"I'll do my best! You just lay back and get yourself ponified, alright?"
"OK! Millicent here, and I'm reporting live from inside the Conversion Room itself. The medical unicorns have floated Sunshine onto the conversion table, and are helping her to undress. It's important to undress completely, because clothing can bind and constrict the body while it is changing. Nopony want's to be strangled by human clothing just as they are becoming a pony!
Sunshine is all naked now, and shivering a little. She got hit pretty hard by the crazy man in the cafeteria. That darn meany broke her teeth and probably her jaw, and she's really pale... but conversion will fix all of that. Conversion fixes everything. Broken bones, missing limbs, whatever is wrong, it all just regrows. Only makes sense, really, because your whole body is being remade from scratch, almost. There was something bad in her head from the impact, but the potion will fix it. The potion will fix it. It will completely fix it.
Now they have her on her side. They have you lay down on you side so that you won't fall and hurt yourself during conversion. Some bureaus have ponies lay on their stomachs. The idea is that it is better for the wings, if you turn out to be a pegasus. But that doesn't happen so often. Apparently, it's like fifty percent you turn out an earth pony, and thirty percent you end up a unicorn, and only twenty percent you turn out to be a pegasus. At least that's what I've read.
The white plastic cup contains potion. Ponification serum. Its filled with little human-made nanomachines powered by Equestrian magic. That's so they don't generate heat and just cook a pony during transformation. Also: magic. The laws of physics are very different in Equestria, and there are a whole bunch of forces and energies and stuff that we just call magic here. There are all kinds of rules and stuff, just like how physics works here, only I don't know that kind of stuff.
Anyway, the potion has to use it, because Equestrian life is partly supported by magic, and it's a part of us. Hey! Sunshine! Bottoms up, all at once!
Sunshine seems to be... kind of... whispering to her cup. It almost looks like she's praying. She isn't the religious type, so I don't know what that's all about. I'll have to ask her later. OK, she's downed the potion and... ponies fall asleep really fast after drinking potion. She's down, now, on the table."
"It's just a matter of time now, Millicent. This takes about fifteen minutes. You may find it disturbing, so if you need to leave..."
"No! I said I'd stay with her. Besides, I went through this, didn't I?"
"Well, yes, of course. But... you were unconscious at the time and..."
"Wow! She's gone all white! Like dough! Oh... all her pretty dark skin. And... all her hair fell out too."
"Moonwhisper, would you get that? Thanks. Yes, all the human body hair is pushed out, along with any implants, permatech, tooth implants, heart valves, anything artificial or technological. It all goes. Looks like your friend had an implant in her arm... um... it's a timepiece."
"I didn't know that! She never used it."
"Sometimes implants fail and people can't afford to get them repaired, or replaced. They forget about them. We've had cases where patients swore there wasn't a thing inside them, and whole masses of implants just come squirting out. They just forget they're there."
"Sunshine really looks like dough now. Wet, shiny dough, and it's all squirmy, too! Hey, she isn't in pain, is she?"
"No, no pain. We use a special anesthetic. There are three types, each coded to one of the three main allergenic types. We typed her on the run in here, and it's mixed in just before we give the ponification serum. We have to do it that way, the serum breaks down the anesthetic really fast."
"It looks painful... her body is flopping and writhing and... it looks like snakes inside a bag or something!"
"There's a lot going on in a very short amount of time in there. See, look at her shoulder there. Her bones are changing shape, and that means that calcium is being broken down and reformed at an astonishing rate. To do that, she needs a scaffold of additional, temporary vasculature, which the little nanomachines have to build, and then remove later. Now, check out her arms... as they become forelegs, the humerus shrinks dramatically. Below that, below the elbow joint, in humans are two bones, the radius and the ulna. Those fuse and shorten to become a pony's single radius bone."
"Wow, it's like watching... it's like one of those movies, you know, with the werewolves and stuff."
"Yeah, actually it kind of is. There, see, the back of her hand. All the bones of the hand are blending together, melting into each other to become the cannon bone. One finger survives, the middle finger. That is what ultimately becomes the phalanges and the hoof. Her middle fingernail will become her hoof. See? That swelling at the end is where the nano's are manufacturing it. It should erupt in just a moment. You can see the same thing down at her feet... the middle toe does the same exact thing. Earth horses are built the same way, or were."
"I wish I could have met an Earth horse."
"I don't think you would have liked it. They weren't big talkers. It's been estimated that they only rated a .31 on the Revised Sapience Scale. Pigs got something like .38 so meeting a terrestrial horse would have been pretty dull, I think."
"How do humans and ponies rate?"
"Humans are 100, because the whole scale was biased toward them of course. Ponies get a 105, and COGNIT, the big AI the Worldgov uses gets a 134, last I heard. But that's just intellectual sapience, which is only one dimension. Personally I think emotional sapience matters just as much, and on that the average human only scores a..."
"Where did her eyes go?"
"Don't be worried. The eyes dissolve completely and are rebuilt from scratch. In a little while we'll see her new eyes start to push out from inside. They swell up really fast, then the lids form once they push against the skin there. Same with the ears, they just get dissolved and then reconstructed in the proper, pony position. Breasts, too, down below, between the legs. Sometimes it's easier to just dissolve and rebuild than it is to move, especially for nanos."
"Do you think she's dreaming? Is she talking with Celestia and Luna?"
"Well... that's a matter of a lot of debate. Humans insist that the Conversion Dream is just the result of the brain being reconstructed in sections. As each section comes online, it sends out a burst of signals, and the result is a fantastic, lucid dream. As for us, well... I don't know about you, but in my heart I will always believe that I was welcomed into the herd by our princesses. After all, magic is magic and, well, our princesses are goddesses, you know?"
"Oh, I agree completely. Why is it that humans always want to tear down miracles and magic?"
"It's rational, for them. Earth doesn't have magic, and with the laws of Earth physics being as harsh as they are, anypony that isn't completely skeptical and rational is a danger to themselves and others, to a greater or lesser extent. But the humans forget that we're dealing with Equestria here. Different physics, different laws, different rules. In Equestria, there really are goddesses. But it isn't their fault. It's just what they needed to do to survive that universe."
"I guess that makes sense. They sure want it though."
"Yeah, that's the weird bit. For all they need to be rational, humans have always wanted magic like Equestria's so much. It's weird. It's almost like they've just been waiting for this moment to arrive, you know?"
"Hey! Sunshine's eyes! Look, there's a lid now!"
"It hasn't separated yet, but yes. It will be a minute or two before the lid can actually open, right now it's still sealed, top to lower lid. And the ears, too, see?"
"Wow! I didn't know you could see the ears grow! It's fast enough that... I am watching her ears grow in real time! That is so cool!"
"The entire skull is dramatically reformed. It's actually one of the biggest changes made. We still don't understand all of the process there, and we probably never will. Humanity will be completely converted within the next two years or so. At least all that can be converted. And working out this sort of stuff would take decades."
"When do we find out what kind of pony she is? So far, she looks like an earthpony. Is she an earthpony, like me?"
"No way to tell yet. The basic, stock equine body forms first. The breed characteristics form last. But we're really close. Any minute now, we should see something. If she becomes an earthpony, you'll see some impressive muscle development occur, and the bones will become thicker. You can see it easily, with her all hairless and doughy like she is now. If she goes pegasus, it will start right there, at the back of her scapula, the long flat bone on her back, there? Also her bones will get a little thinner, and that will make her legs look skinny without the coat. If she becomes a unicorn, her build will be halfway between the two, and you'll see a horn erupt right below her poll, at the high end of the forehead.
Want to try to guess what she'll become? We sometimes play that game, based on what we know about the subject. It's not always true, but bookworms and eggheads, like me, often end up as unicorns. Practical or domestic types end up as earthponies.... but then so does a lot of anypony. More aggressive or artistic types end up as pegasai. It kind of goes either all Type A personalities or total cuddlebunnies. Not much inbetween. What's your friend like?"
"Well, she's kind of excitable, but also really sweet. She's a little goofy sometimes, but she takes things seriously. Sometimes too seriously. She's really smart, though. But sometimes she doesn't act it. The other day she was yelling at the secretary upstairs to covert her. She doesn't like to wait."
"Oh, that sounds pretty pegasus to me. Kind of Type A, performance driven, yeah, my bet is on pegasus then. Or earthpony. Earthpony is always the safe bet, because half always become earthponies. They're the backbone of Equestria, after all."
"Thank you, mister unicorn. Hee!"
"Well, it's true. Everypony ultimately owes their life to earthponies, and I think anypony that forgets that is just a big dummy. I'm called Candysmiles, by the way. You can just call me Candy."
"A medical unicorn named Candysmiles?"
"Hey... I really like candy, alright? Looks like your friend is starting to show! Check it out, she's a
WE INTERRUPT THIS INFOFEED WITH BREAKING NEWS * WE INTERRUPT THIS INFOFEED WITH BREAKING NEWS * WE INTERRUPT THIS INFOFEED WITH BREAKING NEWS * WE INTERRUPT THIS INFOFEED WITH
At 14.23 hours UT, the World Friendship Orbital Platform passed through the Great Barrier of Equestria. The space station was orbiting at an altitude of two hundred and eighty kilometers, and despite efforts over the past several weeks to adjust its trajectory, it was considered inevitable that the collision would occur.
The fifty taikonauts, civilians, corporate elite, and security personnel on board made use of their emergency supply of ponification serum one hour before the impact with the now 1500 mile diameter sphere that represents the intrusion of Equestria into our spacetime. All successfully ponified before impact with the Great Barrier.
The government of Equestria has been on standby for the last several weeks, and had a large team of pegasai and unicorns on airships ready to assist and catch the taikonauts the moment they entered Equestrian spacetime. Thanks to the unique physics of Equestria, the taikonauts were not harmed during entry, despite their immense relative speed, and all were safely rescued. Prior to entry, the taikonauts sent messages to their loved ones and to corporate leaders.
The space platform itself, seen here, penetrated the Great Barrier at 14.23.11 and as you can see immediately transformed into what appears to be flowers, confetti, balloons, and soap bubbles. This is a normal reaction for high speed objects penetrating the metachaosis field that constitutes part of the structure of the Great Barrier.
For an explanation, I turn to Govinda Clarke, exophysics expert at the Sri Lanka Institute of Physics. Welcome, Govinda.
"Many welcomes to you, Raine."
Can you explain to our viewers what the Great Barrier is, and how it can turn a fifty quadrillion credit space station into flowers and bubbles?
"I can but attempt to try, my good Raine. The Equestrian Barrier is not, as some untoward individuals might imagine, a deliberate fence which prevents human beings from entering the land of the ponies. Rather it is entirely the reaction of one set of physics encountering another set of physics and is an example of what we call a 'Domain Wall', the interface between two universes.
It was long believed that any interaction between domain walls would be destructive in nature, releasing vast quantities of heat and light and dangerous radiation which would cook the very universe itself. But what we failed to take into account was that we cannot judge such things on the basis of our own physical laws alone, and that other universes may have something to say in the matter!"
So what, exactly, does the Great Barrier Of Equestria have to say, Govinda?
"I would be very pleased to explain this, my dear Raine. The Great Barrier is composed of several folded layers, acting much like the waves at the bow of a boat, or the shock waves created by a jet traveling at the speed of sound. These layers affect matter from our universe in strange and curious ways, but these ways are somewhat predictable.
Material, unalive objects entering the Barrier at very slow relative speeds transform gradually into appropriate forms, as we have seen with cities and buildings and roads on the Northamerizone continent. Alive objects may enter freely - though they do seem to experience rapid and remarkable changes which conform them to Equestrian principles. This is true for all animal species except for primates, which for some reason we have yet to determine, suffer terrible burns and which are blocked entirely from entry."
Why primates, Govinda? And aren't humans primates?
"Indeed we are, my good Raine. We are all primates, the greatest of the Great Apes. Much has been done to discover why primate tissue is the only form of life that is entirely blocked from entry to the Equestrian cosmos. One possibility is that our level of awareness may interact negatively with the nature of thaumatism, following the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum reality. If so, this could represent evidence that consciousness itself has some kind of direct interaction with..."
What about the space station? Don't fast moving objects react differently from slow moving objects?
"Ah, yes... well, fast moving objects, such as missiles, planes and of course the space station become many random, harmless things which are diffuse and separate in their distribution. This is all due to the effect of what is called the metachaosis field. Much of the physics of the universe of Equestria has been affected far in the past by a godlike being which was called 'Discord'. This entity, long since contained, was a creature of purest chaos. There is some evidence that he may be responsible, in some fundamental way, for the existence of Equestria at all. But in any case, pockets of chaos still exist within Equestria as remnants of the battle against this strange creature, and of course the Barrier itself reflects the essential truth of the impact of Discord on the physics of the entire Equestrian cosmos."
And this is why the space station became a cloud of bubbles and flowers?
"Oh, my, my dearest Raine, that is precisely what I am saying. It is my personal assessment, however, that the effects of this chaotic field are constantly ameliorated by the princesses, as best as it is possible for them to do. Consider that chaos is quite, well, chaotic, and that the transformation of objects which pass through the Barrier is inevitably one of conversion into harmless, and dare I say, whimsical objects which can do no damage to any creature whatsoever. This cannot be accidental, it is my assertion, and that it must therefore be the result of the princesses, themselves nearly all-powerful beings, somehow influencing the metachaosis field to the best of their ability.
If this was not the case, then the space station might have easily been transformed into something dangerous, or something which would have trapped the unfortunate crew inside itself, such that their doom would be inevitable. The station might have become molten lava, or hot plasma, or any number of unpleasant and disturbing possibilities which I am sure your astute audience could easily imagine. It is the greatest blessing that all that surrounded them upon entry was a cloud of harmless bubbles and colorful flowers. I can only imagine their surprise when this event occurred!"
It certainly must have been something, I would have to agree. Thank you very much for your enlightening report, Govinda, and I wish you all the best there in Sri Lanka.
"And I am thanking you, good Raine, we all very much are enjoying your reports here, I must say."
That was Govinda Clarke, of the Sri Lanka Institute of Physics, giving us his take on the end of the largest space station ever created by Man.
The fifty crewmembers of the space station have been taken to Canterlot Castle, the capitol of Equestria, where it is reported that they are enjoying the special attentions of the court there, and have been given rooms inside the royal palace itself. As guests of honor, they will be given special assistance in adapting to their new status as citizens of Equestria, and as members of the Equestrian species. Apparently, there will also be some sort of welcoming celebration for them, where they will be able to sample the finest of Equestrian cuisine for their first meals. Should be quite a party.
So, to sum up, the World Friendship Orbital Platform has harmlessly impacted the Great Barrier of Equestria, all fifty crewmembers successfully ponified before impact and all have been rescued by the forces of princess Celestia and princess Luna. The crew have been accepted as citizens of Equestria and are currently enjoying what must be a quite enviable party.
This is Raine Sagan, Corporate News Network, from the New Xinjiapo Space Center, EastasiaZone.
THIS HAS BEEN A BREAKING NEWS INTERRUPT WE RETURN NOW TO SCHEDULED INFOFEEDS * THIS HAS BEEN A BREAKING NEWS INTERRUPT WE RETURN NOW TO SCHEDULED INFOFEEDS * THIS HAS BEEN A
"Sunshine? Sunshine? I'm here Sunshine. I'm right here. Can you open your eyes? Oh, you're twitching your ears! I remember that! The first time, I was so amazed at how my ears moved. Oh, sweet Sunshine, I'm right here with you. They took us back to the room. We're in our room now. You're fine. You turned out fine. You're really pretty Sunshine. And really soft, and warm and fun to cuddle with.
I got to see your transformation. It was really amazing. They said it would be all disturbing and stuff, but it wasn't to me. I just thought it was really amazing. Amazingly amazing! I saw you change, and your mane grow in and your tail and everything. Yes! That's your tail! Isn't it wonderful to have a tail? Oh, you can really move it about, can't you!
I can tell you're enjoying that, you're smiling! Look at that smile! Such a smile! Hee hee hee! It just fills me with such happiness to see you smile. Oooh... and you smell really neat too. I just thought I would tell you. You just smell delicious. Like I could just gobble you up! Mmnnn mmm. Hee! You're fun to nuzzle and lick too.
Can you open your eyes? Give it a try. There you go. That's it. Oh, you're still drowsy from the medicine, aren't you. That's alright. You can sleep if you want to. I'll be right here, snuggling beside you. Do you want a blanket too? Don't know? Oh... Ok, you just rest. I was really tired too. You are so pretty. I just love how you turned out.
I'll talk really soft, really, really quiet now. I think this thing can still pick me up.
Well everypony, Sunshine is a pony now. And she's really pretty and she smells good. I don't know if you could see but she has violet eyes. Really bright violet eyes, under those lids. Such pretty eyes.
I'd... I'd better let her sleep. Um... I don't know how to turn this thing off with my lips. Let's see. It's got that active surface thingie on it... um, no, that didn't do it. Maybe if I use my tongue