The (apparently) telekenetic (or at least probability controlling) Dice events mentioned above can be found in the True Gaming Stories section on Unicorn Jelly, for those that are curious.
There is a feeling when doing this....thing...that shares a commonality with the feeling in the Rainsymphony and Touching History accounts, which is that when I am doing any of these three apparent abilities of mine, I have this sensation of something that rises out of low in my body, almost from my pelvis, almost sexual, that flows up and fills me and is like the fuel that gives such things strength. It is a very odd feelling. If I have a lot of it, doing stuff like the rotation in That Which Turns is easy, and if I have only a little of it, it is hard to do, or even impossible. Whatever it is, it can be exhausted for a while, but it builds back up again with rest and time.
Sometimes, there is a hell of a lot of it, and sometimes it is almost not there. Here's the weird bit...it doesn't always matter if I am physically exhausted, it seems to have its own situation of being tired or vital. There have been times when I have been just pooped bodily and had lots of whatever it is, and other times when I have been well rested, but had little of....whatever it is. Mostly it follows what my body is doing. But sometimes...it doesn't.
What does it feel like? It's kind of an almost electric tingle, and a feeling of confident potency. It feels like I can do stuff. When it is really strong, it almost feels orgasmic, sort of.
When I am trying to make things turn, I will often reach out my hand toward the object as part of willing it to rotate...kind of how a really bad bowler will wave their arms trying to make the ball avoid the gutter as it rolls down the lane. It helps, somehow. I visualize the object turning and try to force that vision onto it, to make the vision of it turning superceed the reality of it just hanging there, still and quiet. And it almost always works.
Now, let's tear this whole thing apart for a bit. The simplest skeptical teardown is to say that the whole thing is just a combination of gullibility and magical thinking on my part, combined with coincidental microscopic air currents in a still room. I just happen to look up and concentrate on an immobile hanging cardboard thing and if I lose track of time, when a random air current hits it, I think that the object is moving for me. There is a 50-50 chance that I would be right about calling the direction, and perhaps we can invoke the old idea of selective memory to erase any times that I might be wrong, so it always seems that I guess right. As for where these microscopic air currents come from...we can just argue that air is never still, there must be unknown temperature gradients, and however still and temperature controlled the room, randomly some air would all push in the same direction sometimes. I guess that's possible, anyway. And maybe, once that gets started, maybe it creates some kind of criticality that starts all kinds of things moving, and I just coincidentally match up with pointing at them and willing them to move at the moment the random currents hit them. Smother the whole mess over with a strong desire for something interesting to happen, and then pave it over with more selective memories, plate it, and serve.
That would be my stab at a good skeptical reaming of the whole situation, anyway. And who knows, maybe that is what is happening.
But it sure doesn't seem like it to either me, or the people who have witnessed it. Or so they tell me.
Also, I have to admire a chain of coincidence and self delusion that is so replicable and so accomodating. Even if this is all bunk, I find myself impressed with the incredible miracle of accomodational coincidence. That alone would be pretty amazing just by itself.
I don't know what is the right answer here. I don't know if I can make things turn, or if the whole thing is just accomodational coincidence, if you want to call it that. All I know it that I tried to represent this phenomena as accurately as I could, just as it is.
If this is some sort of psi power, I have considered what a crappy superhero I would make. 'Rotation Girl' or something. I would be on the back bench for years until some situation required a cardboard box on a string to be rotated. Then only Rotation Girl could save the day! Sadly, the League Of Evil Scizzors Men cut the string while I am sweating out tring to rotate the box. Damn. My one shot at glory. Back to the bench. At least I would get a cool spandex costume. Man is this a sucky, useless ability!
When do I use it? When I am sitting there, bored enough to feel that rotating hanging cardboard is more fun that what I am currently doing. So, late at night when I am coloring my comic and it is getting really dull just coloring. Or maybe when I have a guest over, and the conversation has turned to weird stuff, and I want to show off. Whoopie-farging-do.
Oh, I am being too harsh. Honestly...when I do bother to play with it...it really does kind of thrill me, even still. I mean, as lame as it is...the darn things turn, you know? And that is sometimes really neat. I don't know why. But it is. It is really neat to me.
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